Do you remember when you were a child and somebody “double-dog-dared” you? It meant that if you would do whatever deed the “dare” involved the “darer” would do it too. And if it was a “triple-dog-dare” then well, you supposedly had no alternative but to comply.

I blogged about the reasons for why I would not participate in the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge the other day. My primary reasons were that this had become an event of peer pressure and a level of “one-upmanship” — could I do the challenge in a way that would get me more “hits” or “likes” on Facebook, YouTube, Twitter or the like. Furthermore, people, who actually donated and didn’t just throw ice water over their head so they could post a video, weren’t donating because they actually understood the disease, the association, or how the money was used. They were donating because of a “triple-dog-dare.” Or in some cases didn’t donate anything, because throwing ice water over your head meant it is okay not to donate.

I had some vitriol heaped on me because of my opinion, including a comment of “The more money we can trick out of people for charity the better. I don’t see why the reason matters as long as people are donating.” It is the first time that I saw someone associated trickery with charity, and then also have the attitude of the “end justifies the means.”

I have stated previously that I am not participating in the challenge not because ALS isn’t a good cause and something that people shouldn’t support. What I am saying is that the giving is not about ALS anymore, it is about the triple-dog-dare, and to a certain extent, bullying people into complying. Even Barack Obama, arguably the most powerful man in the world, ended up donating to ALS because of a dare, as did Joe Biden.

People have now gotten injured and died because of trying to get their 15 minutes of “ice bucket” fame. A boy dead in Scotland, two firefighters seriously hurt in Kentucky. There is now even a compilation of “ice bucket epic fails” one showing a woman being tossed from a horse after throwing the bucket of ice water on herself while sitting bare-back. You guessed it the horse reared and took off, but hey, she has now over 1M hits on YouTube, so who cares.

People say that this isn’t going to affect fundraising for anyone else, but for many people there is a limited number of funds that they give to causes, and some will say, “Well, I’ve done my bit for charity this year.” This is not just me saying this but is supported with research.

I give to charity, and I volunteer. I do ask for support from people I know, and some do, and some don’t and that’s OK. I don’t triple-dog-dare them. I ask, and if they don’t support my cause, I know it is because they are donating to other charities for which they have a greater affinity. No harm, no foul.

I also don’t go trumpeting my charitable activities to the world, because I don’t give or volunteer just so that others think more highly of me. I do it because I care. As stated in Matthew 6:2 (King James Bible):

“Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men.”

Give and give often, but do it quietly, with grace, and because you care. I triple-dog-dare you, or not!